Before he was terrorizing the world as the Blood God in Blade, Stephen Dorff used his might and teen tough denim astronaut vest to battle demons.  So to honor the greatness that is Dorff, the SEVRPOD team has dedicated this grand episode to the Gate franchise.  Although you really can’t call two movies a franchise.  Especially when one of them is the short bus riding abomination known as Gate 2.  Which has 100% less Dorff.  Either way, we suffer through it for you, our fans.  Don’t say we never gave you everything.  But we want something in return.  Some pie.

 

As always and forever, we begin with the only 2 minutes that make you wish it was 3, the Two Minute Drill!  And it should be mentioned that this episode is light one Fancy Gentleman, so for all you ladies don’t fret.  He will be back in all of his splendor next episode.  But the four remaining members soldier on despite this.  We discuss the new Playstation exclusive The Last of Us and whether it makes you poop your pants out of fear or laziness.  You get a 3 pack from Tim as he briefly (and sexily.  Is that a word?) talks about the True Blood premier, Falling Skies and then throws in his 2 cents on Man of Steel.  With a hint of rage.  Chris, being the huge fan of the Wayans Bros. the way he is, gives his review of A Haunted House.  Yup, he suffered through it so you don’t have to.  And Marc throws in for good measure Blackenstein, the 1973 classic that revolutionized Frankenstein as we know it by making him….black.  

 

We then dive headfirst into The Gate as if it’s a random hole in the backyard.  We discuss Stephen Dorff as a child, and whether his friend looks like Paul from the Wonder Years.  80’s clichés, piss poor parental acting, and whether this is a kid horror movie or not are all gone over with a fine tooth afro pick.  Does The Gate ultimately get our seal of approval?  Click and find out.  Oh, and then we go into Gate 2.  Which much like Rocky 5, Godfather 3 and the entire Resident Evil series we like to pretend that they never happened.  It helps us sleep at night and keep our sanity.  Why are you still reading this?  Click on the episode already!  Or else I’m going to wish that you turn into a poop sandwich.